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THE NORTHERN CALIFORNIA RECYCLING ASSOCIATION PRESENTS... 

The NCRA Players and the NCRA Dancers in the world premiere musical

Scroll On For the Complete Story, Pictures from the Show, and More...

Monday and Tuesday, July 21-22, 2003
California Resource Recovery Association
2003 Annual Conference

An Original Musical Of Five Acts In Two Days At the Ontario Convention Center and Marriott Hotel Pavilion
Ontario, California

Book by Doug Dorn, Arthur Laurentis, William Shakespeare
Music by Leonard Bernstein, Bob Dorough, Bruce Springsteen
Lyrics by Ruth Abbe, Shana Levy, Stephen Sondheim
Original choreography by Shana Levy
Based on a concept by Richard Anthony

Synopsis
Rival gangs vie for dominance over CRRA Ontario turf. Forbidden love blossoms between Tony and Marina. A common enemy unites the gangs. Tony almost gets burned. Love conquers all.

Cast
(in order of appearance)

Acknowledgements
The producers wish to thank the members of the Northern California Recycling Association; Rick Anthony & Associates; the Barona Casino and Resort; Brown, Vence & Associates; California Resource Recovery Association; Liz Citrino; 555 10th Street, Oakland; Gigantic Idea Studio Înc.; Gary Ovitt, Mayor of Ontario; Maggie at ACT; Marriott Hotels; The Pointer Sisters for their version of ‘The Neutron Dance’: Scott and the Crew of Ontario Convention Center; Connie Seitz; as well as many others. And especially to the spouses, families and significant others who permitted all this.

Songs from the show, including
“I Like To Be In Ontario” (Abbe/Levy), “Boy, Boy, Be Cool Boy” (Abbe), “Tonight” (Abbe), “When You’re In R-Gang” (Abbe), “I Feel Pretty” (Abbe/Sondheim), “Zero My Hero” (Levy), “Fire” (Abbe), “Dear Kindly Demons” (Abbe/Dorn), and the finale reprise of “Ontario” (Abbe) are imbedded in the script.

Scroll down through the scenes to find the complete lyrics for each song, suitable for singing along.

The Cast of ‘Waste Side Story’

Waste Side Story: (standing l to r): The R-Gang—Ruth Abbe (Sunshine), Gary Liss (Puente), M Ma Martie Solomon (Crazy Horse), Rick Anthony (Cool McCann), Heidi Melander (Otay). The Zeroes—Linda Christopher (Zera Waste), Cynthia Vant Hul (Zynthia), Diana McKeen (Zanzibar).
Kneeling: Stefanie Pruegel (Hotta Rot), Doug Dorn (Ghost of Landfill), Tim Warner (Zorro and Alotta Rot). Front Row (sitting): John Hanscom (Tony Z. Best), Marina (Shana Levy).

Synopsis and Table of Contents

Act I. “Shakespeare in the Parking Lot: I Like to Be In Ontario.” At the Monday morning Plenary, schoolteacher outlines a Shakespearian interlude for the conference entertainment when he is interrupted by rival gangs, the recycling R-Gang who own the turf and the zero wasting Zeroes who challenge them. Their song, “I Like To Be In Ontario” (by Ruth Abbe w/original choreography by Shana Levy) delineates the different approaches to waste with wit, humor and snappy comebacks.

Act II. “The Appeal of Alotta Rot” That afternoon on the Exhibit Hall stage, R-Gangers Tony and his friend Can McCann discuss going to the dance that night and Alotta Rot makes Tony an interesting offer which he’s inclined to refuse. She sings “I Feel Pretty” with the R’ Sisters.

Act III. “Ontario High School Environmental Club Presents ‘Some Enchanted Evening.’” That night at the dance, Tony meets Marina from the rival gang, and it’s love at first sight as they make some moves to ‘The Sort Line Dance.’ But the rival gangs pull them apart. Cool McCann and the gang counsel Tony with “Cool Boy.”

Act IV. “There’s Going To Be A Rumble Tonight.” On Tuesday afternoon, , the gangs meet and plan the rumble for that night in song, dance, and comic retort.

Act V. “Waste Side Story.” On Tuesday evening, the gangs meet and start to fight while Tony and Marina declare their love in “My Hero Zero” The rumble is interrupted by the appearance of the two demons--Ghost of Landfill Past Present and Future, and the scintillating Hotta Rot, (aka the Fiery Demon) and Tony is tempted as she sings “Fire” to him This unites the gangs and they make common cause against these two interlopers with an updated reprise of “Ontario.”

Special New Features At the End of the Show:

- How to join the recycling R-Gang, the zero wasting Zeroes, or both!

- Order the video of “Waste Side Story.” (and other NCRA Players shows.)

- “The R-Sisters Song Book” available soon.

- Check out NCRA now, http://www.ncrarecycles.org/

ACT I.
Shakespeare In the Parking Lot: ‘I Like To Be In Ontario’
Monday Morning Plenary at Ontario Convention Center

As the CRRA conference began with opening remarks by the Mayor of Ontario, president of the County Board of Supervisors, the director of DOC and others, CRRA president John Davis introduces Monty Capulletti, Ontario High School teacher, to make a few remarks.

The Teacher (Doug Dorn): drones on for a minute, just enough to signal to audience that this is a boring, dismal, flat, pessimistic and somewhat pedantic speech, the kind of thing that often happens at conferences everywhere. His presentation sounds just real enough for the audience to half way believe it. Teacher plays it straight, to the dismay of audience, who don’t want to seem rude, but are clearly disappointed that this lame rendition of a boring Shakespearian routine is all there is

“Thank you, John, for that introduction,” he begins. “Reduced services are the price we pay for source reduction, cut backs in education and budget reductions at the state level has put the “trickle” into trickle down economics. (He pauses, expecting a laugh) Unfortunately, source reduction means reduction at the source, and the source of our funding needs are in Sacramento and in Washington D.C.
We welcome the opportunity to interact with those of you in private sector business and in government agencies. The Ontario High School Environmental Club and our Recycling Center is forced to be the secondary and tertiary funding source for reading materials in the K-12 classroom.
In the world of reduction, there are some sacrifices that we will all have to make. Hence, we are relying on these wonderful young people to present a Shakespearian interlude for the entertainment of our guests at Ontario. I have brought with me a folio of our upcoming renditions of William Shakespeare as performed by students from area high schools.
There has been one addition to this program: My friend Ric Anthony will read a poem as the high light of the festivities…”

Teacher is suddenly interrupted by the entry of the recycling R-Gang lead by Cool McCann (Rick Anthony)
.
“”Hey, teach, this stuff is BOR-ING. We run Ontario. We’re the Recyclers, we’re the R-Gang, and we built the movement, says McCann, forcing the teacher off the stage.

But just as suddenly, Zera Waste (Linda Christopher) and the gang of zero wasters jump the R-Gangers.

“Not so fast, R-Boy. We’re the Zeros—we dig zero waste-- and we control the future of Ontario. We’re knocking on your can, McCann,” she challenges.

The two gangs taunt each other and throw barbs and insults back and forth.

”We’re gonna raise the bar on you,” says R-Ganger Otay (Heidi Melander).

“That’s so ‘last year’, responds Zera.

“Why don’t you get on the road to 0 Waste,” shouts R’er Puente (Gary Liss).

“Yea, like right on outa here,” adds R’er Sunshine (Ruth Abbe).

“Hey Lil Big Boy, why don’t you go bale yourself,” Admonishes Zynthia (Cynthia Vant Hull).

“Airheads,” replies Puente disgustedly.

“Tote that barge, lift that bale,” Zabatina (Stefanie Pruegel) tells him mockingly.

“…Get a little drunk on your own rhetoric,” continues Crazy Horse (Martie Solomon).

“… And you’re bound to fail,” adds Otay:

“End of pipe,” 0-Ganger Zanzibar (Diana McKeen) calls the R-Gangers.

Puente swings a length of PVC pipe threateningly at the other gang. “I got your pipe right here!“ he shouts.

Zabatina spurts out her insult to her adversaries, “Putrid partaker of irresponsible products!”

“That’s tomorrow’s keynote” Zera tells Zabatina as an aside.
“Oh,” responds Zabatina.

On this note, both gangs break into singing “Ontario” in call-and-response style, doing alternating verses of the ‘Ontario’ song.

“I Like To Be In Ontario"
R-Gang:
I like to be in Ontario
Everything’s cool in Ontario
Sit by the pool in Ontario
Recyclers rule in Ontario

Marina (Shana Levy): I like the City of Oakland
Otay: You got your head in the sand, man

Marina: They raised the bar up in Oaktown
Otay: All of the R-Gang has flown down

Zeros:
I like to be in Ontario
Zero’s the show in Ontario
Nowhere to go in Ontario
If you’re not an “O” in Ontario

Sunshine: We gotta recycle a lot more
Zabatina: What did you need all that stuff for?

Sunshine: We put it all in single-stream
Zabatina: Wet dry is really a wet dream

R-Gang: I like to be in Ontario
Recycling is large in Ontario
No garbage barge in Ontario
R-Gang’s in charge in Ontario

(At each instrumental dance break, the gangs execute some complex, original choreography staged by Shana Levy and the NCRRA Dancers.)

R-Gang:
I like to be in Ontario
Everything’s cool in Ontario
Sit by the pool in Ontario
Recyclers rule in Ontario

Marina: We will reach zero waste here
Otay: Better recycle a lot dear.

Marina: We have reduced all of our waste
Otay: What did you have in the first place?

Zeros:
I like to be in Ontario
Zero is bold in Ontario
Here’s what we’re told Ontario
Recycling is old in Ontario

(instrumental dance break)
Zeroes:
I like to be in Ontario
Zeros the show in Ontario
Nowhere to go in Ontario
If you’re not an “0” in Ontario

Sunshine: It’s good for the bottle and the can
Zabatina: We’ve had enough of that plan, man.

Sunshine: Bottles can make a new hula-hoop
Zabatina: Zero to zero’s a closed loop

All:
I like to be in Ontario
Recycle more in Ontario
Zero’s the goal in Ontario
What is your role in Ontario?

As the dance and song concludes, a police whistle is heard, and both gangs 9scatter in opposite directions.
“Jeeze, it’s the friggin’ DOC cops, let’s go. We’ll see you later,” shouts McCann, and both gangs split. in opposite directions.

ACT II.
The Appeal of Alotta
Monday Afternoon at Exhibit Hall

Alotta Rot Goes For Tony's Appeal --Cool McCann (Rick Anthony)(l) counsels Tony Z. Best (John Hanscom) that Alotta Rot (Tim Warner) (center) isn’t so bad a date for the dance tonight while the R Sisters (Shana Levy, Ruth Abbe, Heidi Melander) beam their approval.

During reception in Exhibit Hall, Tony (John Hanscom) is on stage alone. He quietly stacks newspaper or source separates paper until it is time to begin the scene. To draw a crowd and get attention to the stage, he moves from paper to glass to aluminum cans that clank and rattle, eventually making more and more noise until he gets the attention of the house. Gang members circulate through the audience asking innocent bystanders “Have you seen Tony or any of the R-Gang? We’re the Zeros and we’re looking for him.” Conversely, R-Gang members circulate and tell people “We gotta talk to Tony, he’s in R-Gang, and we ‘re gonna meet with him in five minutes on stage—in five minutes.” In this way we build the tip. During the scene, 0’s and R’s flank sides of stage, but are not on stage.
Alotta Rot (Tim Warner) plays it straight, not campy; she sings ‘I Feel Pretty’ without irony.

As the scene opens, Tony is pacing back and forth eating a banana, when his friend, Can McCann (Rick Anthony), enters.

“Hey, Tony Z., my R Boy,” says Cool McCann (Rick Anthony) in greeting as they do the gang handshake.

“Hey, it’s Cool McCann, my main man,” replies Tony (John Hanscom).

“Tony, we really messed with those Zeros this morning. Not to mention Mr. Teacher, he’s really pissed about messing up his speech. He says he gonna make us start taking PVC or something,” McCann enthusiastically tells Tony.

McCann: What's eating you? Tony: I dunno.

“Yea, right,” Tony responds duly.

“What’s eating you? Aren’t you going to the dance tonight?” McCann ask.

“There’s a dance tonight?” responds Tony:

“Yea, there’s a dance tonight. It’ll be by the pool. There will be music and stuff—the fabulous Barona Blues Band is playing,” McCann tells him.

“Hmm, a dance tonight at the pool? That’s cool. But what if those Zeros show up?” Tony asks.

“The pool is neutral turf. They won’t try anything,” McCann assures him.

“ I dunno,” says Tony, still doubtful.

“C’mon, it might be fun,” encourages McCann.

“I dunno any girls. It’ll be just the same old recycled babes,” Tony still protests.

“How about Alotta? She’s really hot for you. She must have her life temperature up to 100 degrees by now,” suggests McCann.

“You mean Alotta Rot? She puts a whole new meaning to puetrecibles,” says Tony doubtfully.

“Alotta Rot, she ain’t so bad,” cajoles McCann. “ Well, she is pretty bad sometimes, but you gotta take what the market offers, y’know.”

“ I don’t know if I want to get stuck with the queen of green—she takes that organic stuff too far,” confides Tony.

“Hey, here she comes now,” McCann says brightly.

Alotta Rot enters in grass Hula Skirt and coconut bra, Carmen Miranda style headdress draped with fruits, vegetables, lamb chops etc. w/ R Sisters as her entourage and back-up vocals.

“ Hi, Tony, Alotta (Tim Warner) archly greets Tony.

“ Hey, Alotta. How you doing?” responds Tony duly.

“ I do a lotta things. Wanna see me degrade?” Alotta asks seductively.

Tony keeps trying to duck behind McCann, who is obviously enjoying Tony’s predicament and keeps backing out of the way as Alotta steadily keeps zeroing in on Tony, pursuing him around the stage. “ I’m thinking, I’m thinking,” he replies.

“Wanna take me to the dance tonight?” asks Alotta. “I’ve got a brand new worm box to go with your banana,”

“Oh, gawd,” says Tony as he puts hands to his temples at the thought of it.

Alotta leeringly takes center stage as her back up singers fan out behind her, "I feel good. I feel better than Bob Besso!” she says.

Alotta bursts into song and dance number, ‘I Feel Pretty’ w/her entourage as back up

“I Feel Pretty”

I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty I feel pretty and witty and bright,
And I pity any girl who isn't me tonight.
I feel charming,
Oh, so charming -
It's alarming how charming I feel,
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe I'm real.
See the pretty girl in that mirror there:
Who can that attractive girl be?
Such a pretty face,
Such pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile.
Such a pretty me!
I feel stunning
And entrancing.
Feel like running and dancing for joy.
For I'm loved
By a pretty wonderful boy!

ALOTTA:
I feel pretty.
Oh, so pretty!
That the city should give me its key
A committee
Should be organized to honor me!

GIRLS:
La, la, la, la...

ALOTTA:
I feel dizzy,
I feel sunny,
I feel dizzy and funny and fine
And so pretty,
Miss America can just resign!

GIRLS:
La, la, la, la...

ALOTTA: See the pretty girl in that mirror there:

GIRLS:
What mirror, where?

ALOTTA: Who can that attractive girl be?

GIRLS:
Which? What? Where? Whom?
Such a pretty face,
Such pretty dress,
Such a pretty smile.
Such a pretty me!

GIRLS:
Whom-mmm?
Such a pretty me!
ALOTTA:
I feel stunning
And entrancing.
Feel like running and dancing for joy.
For I'm loved
By a pretty wonderful boy!

“ Bye bye, Tony,” Alotta: tells Tony. “I looove recyclers, and you’re my R Boy, see you again.”
She advances on him, but he jumps out of the way
“Oh, Tony, don’t be so shy; some day you’ll appreciate my appeal,” she tells him as she takes banana peel from Tony’s hand and exits w/entourage).

“Your future is set, Tony. m’boy,” McCann tells him smugly, his arm around Tony’s shoulder. “You need to hook up with Alotta Rot. Face it, Bro; we gotta take what we can pick up. I can see it now—Alotta Rot and Tony -Z and pretty soon, baby makes three—soon you and her will be rolling out the Fantastic Three.”

Tony squirms out of Can’s reach and tries to change the subject as they exit,” I still don’t know. Let’s get out of here—or they’ll make us pay for booth space.”

ACT III.
At the Ontario High School Environmental Club ‘Some Enchanted Evening’ Dance
Monday Night Band Break at Marriott Hotel Pavilion

Shana Levy and the N-C-R-R-A Zero Waste Dancers w/cooperation by the fabulous Barona Blues Band choreographed the line dance number with audience participation. Marina (Shana Levy) and the Zeroes recruited new members from the audience and had audience members to join the dance. A butcher paper sign announcing the “Ontario High School Environmental Club presents ‘Some Enchanted Evening’” completed the set. In attention to detail and authenticity for high school dances of yesteryear, the sign was created with the help of Liz and Linnea Abbe.

As the Barona Blues Band takes a break, the two gangs start at the back of the house and move around through the audience towards the stage. R’s tell people, “We are the R-Gang, We’re the Recyclin’ Originals from Ontario. We built the modern recycling movement that we know today. We’re going to the dance. Want to come along?” Meanwhile, the 0’s also circulate through the audience, saying “We’re the Zeroes, the zero wasters, and we’re the future. You better watch out if we meet up with that R-Gang crowd. “ The two gangs move through the crowd towards stage as they alternatively announce themselves. The separate gangs make their way to stage area, where they congregate among themselves (remember high school dances?)

Teacher Gamely Tries to Keep the Gangs Apart.

Teacher stands between the gangs. Zera and Zeros including Marina enter with Marina looking for all the world like the teacher’s pet, but Zera starts smoking a cigarette.

Teacher: There is to be no smoking—of anything.

”Welcome, welcome to the Ontario High School Environmental Club dance.” says Teacher (Doug Dorn), reading from his clipboard. “Our theme tonight is ‘Some Enchanted Evening.’ Remember, people, there’s to be no smoking—of anything—and we’re all to act like ladies and gentlemen.”

Zera gives a caught-red-handed look and furtively tucks her cigarette in her bra.

” Tonight we've invited some promising members of the Ontario High School Environmental Club to kick off the evening,” he continues hopefully trying to stem the mayhem that he knows is about to happen. He turns to Zera, “Zera, I understand that you've prepared a little presentation for us?” talking down to her ever so slightly.

Zero and the Zeros (Linda Christopher, Diana McKeen, Cynthia Vant Hull, Tim Warner, Stefanie Pruegel) come in with their “Z” snapping gang sign.
“Z”-“E”-“R”-“O” Zero is the ay to go
We are the Zeros and we’re number one
Wasting nothing can be really fun
Why do we need all your plastic, tin and glass? R-Gang come and kiss my ___ (interrupted by Teacher)

Teacher, gimpy as ever, but steps on last line, “That’s all right, Zera. Please, none of that. We’re all friends here tonight, right, people?
Gang members grumble from either side of stage as teacher gamely tries to keep things afloat.
“Marina, why don’t you teach us a line dance to start thing off?”

“OK. Want me to teach everybody the ‘Sort Line Dance’? Marina (Shana Levy) asks brightly.

“Teacher’s pet,” says Zera to Marina only slightly kidding.

“OK everybody. Come up here and get in a line,” continues Marina unphased.

Teacher glares at Zera and silently admonishes her and exits.
Marina stays in character but leads the gang and the audience in The Sort Line Dance (aka The Neutron Dance)

Marina leads Barona Blues Band and the Zero’s in ‘The Sort Line Dance.’

“Ok, everybody, imagine that you’re on the sort line, and the recyclables are going by in front of you,” instructs Marina. “And every now and then a piece of garbage goes by, and you have to pick it out (It’s a positive sort line). And it goes like this…

Marina does the heavy lifting re the dancing audience participation. She and the Zeros lead a line dance backed up by the band that was a monumental bit of choreography. But eventually she cuts them loose, and they melt back into the crowd. This leaves her at center stage. The crowd of R-Gangers around Tony melts away, leaving just Tony and Marina at center stage.

Tony and Marina Find Love
Tony hangs back, but when he and Marina spot each other, the band plays a pre-arranged ta-da! chord, and she teaches him some new steps. They take center stage and execute the dance perfectly. But at their conclusion, members of the rival gangs interrupt and hustle both characters apart.

“You can’t dance with her, she’s a zero, she’s nothing, nothing!” McCann shouts at Tony, pulling him apart from her.

“You can’t dance with him, he’s just trash!” Zera scolds Marina as she pulls her away.

“C’mon, Marina, we’ve got to go prepare our e-waste session,” adds Zabatina.

“I’ve got to go,” Marina implores Tony. “I have to prepare for my e-waste session.”

“But wait…” Tony pleads, as they reach out to each other. “Nobody goes to those things anyway…”

“ I gotta go…” cries Marina in confusion and emotional bafflement.

“When can we see each other again?” blurts Tony.

“Tomorrow night,” replies Marina. “I’ll meet you down here, by the pool.”

“ I’ll be there,” Tony asserts.

The Zeroes pull. Marina away with them, as she looks over her shoulder at her new love. But Tony is smitten. He wanders in a trance to towards where the R-Gangers are standing, but slightly apart from them.

McCann puts his arm around Tony’s shoulder and pulls him into their circle.

“Hey Tony Z., you’re a Recycler,” McCann instructs him. “She’s a Zero. Recyclers and Zeros can never get along. Hey, guys, we’re gonna have a ‘council meeting,’” McCann tells the whole gang. “Hey, Tony Z., c’mon over. Let’s sort it out for you.”

The R-Gang sings “Boy, Boy (Be Cool Boy.)”

Sunshine:
Boy, boy, crazy boy,

Be cool, boy!
Don't go psycho;
Just recycle.
Don't be a fool, boy!

Otay:
Don't be seduced
To source reduce,
Cuz it's not our way.
Forget that chick
And lickity split
You'll be sortin' plastics every day.

Sunshine:
Boy, boy. R-gang boy.
Re-lax, boy!
Chasing arrows
Are in your marrow.
Just face the facts, boy!

R-Gang:
Go man, go, but not like a do-do Zero!
Just play it cool, boy. Reeeal cool ...

R-Ganders ’s snap their fingers in rhythm as they move off stage, including Tony.

ACT IV.
There’s Gonna Be A Rumble Tonight, OK!
Tuesday Afternoon Plenary

As the 3:15 Plenary is about to begin, Ric Anthony is warming up the crowd. Suddenly, he’s interrupted by the Zeros gang.

“Hey, Cool McCann, we got business with you, OK,” Zera Waste (Linda Christopher) challenges him from the floor.

“ Look, we challenge you as who’s going to control Ontario—the Marriott Airport Hotel isn’t big enough for both of us,” McCann (Rick Anthony) tells Zera.” We’re the original Ontario Recyclers—the R-Gang- we don’t trust you. You’re the zero wasters. You Zeroes think you’re better than us. So let’s have it out—once and for all.”

“Fine by us,” Zera retorts.

“Where?” taunts McCann.

“At the Pavilion,” Zera tells him.

“The Pavilion?” asks McCann.

“Yea, the Pavilion by the Pool,” Zera affirms.

“The Pavilion by the Pool?” McCann turns to his gang of Recyclers for confirmation “ Huh.”
As the two gang leaders reach agreement for the rumble, Cool and Zera turn to their respective gangs for affirmation. As Cool says “Huh” Z’s do their gang sign, then the R’s respond with their gang sign.

“When?” he asks.

“Tonight,” she replies.
“Tonight—after that awards ceremony thing,” he agrees.

“Yeah, after the awards thing,” she agrees.

"Tonight -after the awards ceremony,” he confirms with the R-Gang. “Huh.”

“Who?” he shoots back.

“All of us Zero Wasters against all of you R-Gangers,” she tells him.

“All the Recyclers against all the Zero Wasters,” They confirm. “ Huh.”

“Let the markets decide!” shouts Puente (Gary Liss).

“ We’re gonna shut you off at the source!” she admonishes him. “ And none of your tricks McCann. We heard about that load of plastic beer cans you tried to sneak in from back East.”

“Fine, keep your clothes on. We’ll do it mano a mano, “ he agrees.

The two gangs break into the song,

“Tonight--‘there’s going to be a rumble tonight.’”

Otay (Heidi Melander):
The R-Gang’s gonna have its day
Tonight.
Zabatina (Stefanie Pruegel):
The Zeros gonna have their way
Tonight.
Otay:
The Zero Wasters grumble: "Fair fight."
But if they start a rumble,
We'll rumble 'em right.
Zabatina:
We're gonna hand 'em a surprise
Tonight.
R-Gang (Otay and Sunshine [Ruth Abbe])
We're gonna cut 'em down to size
Tonight.
Zeros (Zabatina and Marina [Shana Levy])
We said, "O.K., no rumpus,
No tricks."
But just in case they jump us,
We're ready to mix
Tonight.

“The Recyclers against the Zero Wasters,” says McCann, turning to the audience. “Tonight at the Pavilion. Don’t chicken out, be there!”
Having settled the challenge, the stage is set for an all out, hand-to-hand rumble that very night, and the gangs exit in opposite directions.

All: Ok? OK!



ACT V.
Waste Side Story
Tues. Night Finale at Pavilion After Awards Ceremony

As the awards ceremony winds down, CRRA President John Davis makes a few scripted remarks about the conference and the challenges ahead. But R-Gang’ers and Zeros start moving in on him, and the two gangs keep edging closer to each other and overtake him. Situation is ominous. Even the speaker is clearly nervous. They elbow him out of the way, interrupting his presentation.

R-Gangers Get Ready To Fight.
“Hey, buddy, we’re Ontario’s original recyclers. We’re the R-Gang-in case you’ve never heard of us--we got business here,” McCann (Rick Anthony) tells him. “Time for you to split.”

“OK, OK, no problem fellas,” says CRRA President John Davis apologetically.

“Recyclers rule,” Puente (Gary Liss) shouts.

“Yeah, R- Gang rules!” affirms Crazy Horse (Martie Solomon).

“Recyclers forever,” says Otay (Heidi Melander).

“Recycle or die!” says Sunshine (Ruth Abbe).

But then Zera Waste (Linda Christopher) and her gang of zero wasters enter the fray.

…And The Zero Waste Gang Readies For The Rumble.
“Not so fast Mr. Cool McCann,” she tells McCann. “You know who we are. We’re the Zeros-The Zero Waste Gang. And we’re here to challenge you Recyclers for control of the Ontario turf right? We take no residuals.
0’s do their trademark “Z” snap and step back.

Both gangs hang back while Tony pulls McCann aside.

“Hey, Cool McCann, my man, we’ve been bros’ for—forever—but I’m beginning to ask myself stuff, says Tony (John Hanscom) to his buddy Cool McCann. “‘Self,’ I ask, “what’s the hassle all about?’ I mean, Ontario has enough smog here for all of us…

The other R’s roll their eyes at this sudden change of heart as the rumble is set to go down. “Oh, Tony,” they go.

“Tony, Tony, Tony—I don’t believe what I’m hearing,” implores McCann. “After all this time together, you’re having doubts about the efficacy of our endeavor? You’re having doubts about all of this recycling movement we’ve spent years building up? This can’t be! Not the Tony I know. Hey, Listen Let us sort it out for you…

He gestures to the other R-Gangers, and they gather around McCann and Tony, and they sing,
“When You’re in R Gang.”
Otay:
When you're an R-Ganger
You represent green
From Selma to Sanger
And stops in between
Sunshine:
We keep stuff away
From those industry slobs
Who hang out all day
In their white collar jobs
Together:
We did it alone
Community Recycling
They throw us a bone
And now that we are fighting
It’s so exciting!

Otay:
We built us a dream
Outa crap thrown away
Together:
And we are the team
That backs CRRA
We back C-R-R-A

“After all, we're not a gang, we're a movement!” McCann emphasizes.

“Oh yeah, Then why can’t you move out of the ‘60’s?” Zera taunts him from the other side of stage.

You Zeroes, by definition, are nothing,” responds McCann in mock politeness.

“We’re the Zero Wasters, and we’re the future,” replies Zera.

“Hey Puente,” McCann says, turning to his LT., Puente, and maintaining his mock polite tone while tracing a ‘0’ and an ‘8’ in the air with his finger. “What did the zero say to number 8?”

“No, what did the zero say to the number eight?” responds Puente (Gary Liss), picking up on the tone,

“Nice belt,” McCann: says,

All the R-Gangers laugh uproariously at their leader’s put down joke.

“Yea, but we’re not the veritable dustbin of history,” interjects Zanzibar (Diana McKeen). “Shut down the waste stream.”

“Ain’t you read the conference program”? Zynthia (Cynthia Vant Hul) says and holds up a real CRRA Conference program and then flings a copy of the program at R Gang.

“It’s way too long,” Puente responds.

“You are chumps,” McCann retorts. “Lemme show you how we process this stuff. Scissors cut paper,” he says, catching the program and tearing it up.

“Yea, well rock breaks scissors, McCann,” Zanzibar tells him as she pulls out a broken bottle and advances menacingly on him.

“More throughput,” Crazy Horse interjects.
“Less in-put,” Zanzibar responds.

“Airhead,” McCann snorts.
“Can crusher,” Zera spits at him.

“Nothing,” Puente snarls.
“Single streamer,” Zanzibar growls.

“Use less,” Zynthia (Cynthia Vant Hul) implores.
“Useless,” retorts Sunshine (Ruth Abbe).

“If you’re not for zero waste, then how much waste are you for?” Zera interjects.

“Zero Waste is an elitist fantasy of the California middle class,” McCann replies in his same icily polite tone, but then turn on the Zeros with real vehemence. “You ever seen ‘Zero Waste’ in Zaire? They ain’t got no waste to zero out, fool.”
Turning to his henchmen, he says, “Hey guys, let’s get our stash of ‘recycled content glassware’ and a couple rigid plastic knives.”
Then turning back to Zera and the Zeros, “We’ll meet you back here in 5 minutes.”

“Bring it on. We’ve got all the natural resources we need ‘cause we didn’t use them up in the first place, says Zera very cool and very tough; then changing her tone as she addresses the Zeros in the model of political correctness, “But first we have to hold a consensus driven convocation session to determine appropriate action.” She pauses, turns on the R-Gangers, and says with real venom, “Then we kick your butt.”

The Gangs reprise “There’s Going to be a Rumble Tonight” (while moving off stage) as Maria and Tony break into

“Tonight”

Otay:
The R-Gang’s gonna have its day
Tonight.

Zynthia:
The Zeros gonna have their way
Tonight.

Sunshine:
The Zero Wasters grumble: "Fair fight."
But if they start a rumble,
We'll rumble 'em right.

Zanzibar:
We're gonna hand 'em a surprise
Tonight.

R-Gang (Otay, Sunshine, Crazy Horse):
We're gonna cut 'em down to size
Tonight.

Zeros (Zynthia and Zanzibar):
We said, "O.K., no rumpus,
No tricks."
But just in case they jump us,
We're ready to mix
Tonight.
As both gangs exit, Tony and Marina who are left alone at center stage.

Marina (Shana Levy):
Tonight, tonight,
Won't be just any night,
Tonight there will be no villain’s role
Tonight, tonight, I'll see my love tonight.
And for us, there is no tonnage goal

Tony:
Today
I sorted tin from plastic,
Marina: They think it’s so “Fantastic”.
But all they do is fight

Together:
But here you are,
To make this endless day endless night!
Tonight!

Both gangs move off stage in different directions. This leaves only Tony and Marina on stage, and they move e towards each other, mesmerized.

“Hey, Marina, it’s me, Tony, Tony Z. Best, Tony (John Hanscom) furtively call out to Marina.

“Oh thank goodness it’s you Tony. I’ve been thinking about you ever since we met at the dance last night, Marina (Shana Levy) replies pensively. “What are they-what are we going to do?”

“But you’re a Zero….” Tony stammers.
An ominous chord fills the room from Liz Citrino’s keyboard.
“And you started the R-Gang,” responds Marina.
An even more ominous chord reverberates even lower)
“Yea, real men recycle,” responds Tony, a bit defiantly.

“But don’t you see, even doing that, we’ll use up everything,” Marina implores.

You mean that even if I keep doing my thing, I’ll never get anywhere?” Tony asks.

“Yea, like the pie keeps getting bigger,” responds Marina.

“But I like pizza pie —the bigger the pie, the better,” Tony says, slipping his hand into hers.

“There’s something about you I like, Tony Z,” Marina says to him fondly.

“For a Zero, you’re really something,” Tony counters.

Tony and Marina sing their love duet,
“Zero, My Hero"

Tony:
My hero, Zero.
What a super kind of hero.
Until you came along,
We thought 50% was enough.

Marina:
Oh, it's not so tough.
*We're already on our way,
Yeah, it's a brand new day,
Zero waste is here to stay

Both:
All thanks to Zero, my hero
How wonderful you are.

T: I thought recycling was best,
M: Now you know it's only part...
T/M: of the solution, that is.

T: In fact, out here in the West
M: Blue is only one of the carts
Both: Out on the curbside, that is.

T: That's why organics are key now
M: And not ADC now
Both: Reuse and prevention are our best intention
Forever, towards infinity.

Both:
We may not ever get there, but we will try!
T (spoken): I think I'm gonna cry!

T: Of all the heroes
It seems that only Zero
Is the goal that will do,
M: Or else we'll be knee-deep in our trash
Both: Just imagine the rash!
Repeat *: We're already on our way, ...

“I’ve just met a girl named Marina, and suddenly everything has changed. Can it be? The whole waste hierarchy isn’t as important as I thought,” Tony muses dreamily to himself.

“Wouldst not an R by any other name smell as sweet?” Marina asks herself.

“But how can 3 R’s add up to zero?” Tony muses to himself.

”Tony?” Marina asks hesitantly. “I was so glad you came to see me? Oh, I was so hoping you would.”

“I had to see you,” Tony tells her.

“Isn’t Ontario everything you dreamed it would be?” she asks.

“And more,” he asserts.

“But what about our families? Our friends? Our funding sources?” asks Marina.

“When I’m with you, I, I feel like I’ve raised the bar, gotten on the road, and chosen more—all at the same time,” stammers Tony.

”That’s so beautiful….” Marina tells him.

“Who are you talking to out there?” Zera’s voice calls from off-stage.

“No one…” Marina calls back hesitantly. Then she turns to Tony. “I’ve got to go. But our hearts will always be united—in a single stream.”

“When can we see each other again?” Tony asks plaintively.

”Tomorrow—on the tour,” Marina tells him.

“I’ll be there,” he affirms.

Unable to contain their love, they start to embrace.

But suddenly, the two gangs come forward with weapons drawn and pull the lovers apart.

“What are you still doing with her—she’s Nothing. Nothing!” McCann angrily tells Tony.

“I told you to stay away from him—he’s trash-just trash,” Zera scolds Marina.

The gangs grab their respective mates and stand between them, nose to nose.

“This time you’ve gone too far,” McCann says, laying out an ultimatum to Zera.

“Like you can stop us or something?” taunts Zera, not giving ground.

Various voices from the both gangs edge them on. Zanzibar says, “Ouuuu, I wouldn’t take that.”

McCann takes a broken bottle and moves menacingly towards the Zeroes.

Crazy Horse opens the battle as she announces, “It’s started.”

Suddenly—with an ominous fuge from the keyboard—two figures appear —one is the Ghost of Landfill Past, Present and Future, the other is the Fiery Demon. They enter arm in arm.

“I am the Ghost of Landfill Past Present and Future. I am the only thing in this society that lasts forever,” announces The Ghost of Landfill-Past, Present, and Future (Doug Dorn) with a sweeping bow of his tri-corner hat. Dressed in long, dark Great Coat, black riding boots, a black tri corner hat, black gloves, and a deathly white half mask, he is the epitome of Doom.

”I am the Fiery Demon. I can get you to Zero—the easy way, Tony. I am New Age conflagration. I burn everything so cleanly,” coos Hotta Rot (Stefanie Pruegel) as she sweeps over to Tony, She is dressed in a skimpy, fiery red mini-skirt, thigh length red boots, and elbow length sequined gloves, she is a figure that dazzles and captivates. With bits of a grass skirt that looks a little like Alotta Rot’s costume, Hotta is the seductress who smokes a tiparillo type cigar and carries a trigger activated fire starter wand, which she ignites for emphasis.

Ghost of Landfill (with background music of Rolling Stones’ “Sympathy For the Devil) states his case to the awe struck gang members.

Let us introduce ourselves
We’re fiends of wealth and taste.
We’ve been around a long long time
And now we’re here to set you in your place.
I took the bottle and the can, all the paper, too
Buried it in the ground for all your balance due.
I hope you’ve guessed my name.
I am the Ghost of Landfill Present and from the Past, and the Future, too.

Tony: You’re So Hot
”Oh migawd, Hotta Rot?” stammers Tony. “I mean, you remind me a little of Alotta, but it can’t be…why) you’re, you’re beautiful. I knew she wasn’t my type. Wh-what happened? “

“Tony, Tony, Tony—you dear sweet boy you,” Hotta Rot seductively inveigles the captivated Tony. “You don’t get it, do you? Some say I am Alotta Rot’s evil twin stepsister. But I am Hotta Rot—your new bright star. I can take everything you have and more, Tony. Think of all that work you have to do with your old fashioned ways of finding places for everything. But with me, you can rule the Recyclers and the Zeros. My fire burns clean and turns all that trash green. Think, Tony, how easy it can be. You can turn all of your problems into a single stream of flame. How easy it would be, Tony (her voice takes on a hypnotic cadence) you and me, together we can free the world of all its garbage. I can burn it clean, and turn it green. And I’m so easy…

“Hotta, you’re so hot,” is all that Tony can manage, he’s so clearly captivated.

“Yesss, from the dark side, and hot to trot,” Hotta tells him as she sidles up to him, undulating as she moves. Tony is mesmerized and follows her every move. Tony falls to his knees, gazing up at her as she steadily bewitches him.
She sings ‘Fire’ to him, w//Sisters as back up.

Hotta: When We Kiss, oooh, Fire!
“Fire”

I am your Bright Star
I give you satisfaction
I’ll get you zero waste
I just need a little action
Now your words say split
But I’m you gasifaction
Cause when we kiss oooh fire

After a long, long day
Processing single-stream
I take the crap away
And give you all the cream
You keep the bottles and cans
I take your plastic and tires
And feed them into my big fire

I had a hold on you right from the start
A grip so tight you could tear it apart
I take care all of your residuals
Now my kisses they burn
But your heart stays cool

Romeo and Juliet, Tony and his Hotta
Now baby I can bet you want your Hotta a lotta
You say you don’t love me
But you can’t hide your desire
Cause when we kiss oooh fire

During her song, Tony becomes more and more captivated, eventually going down on his knees besides her and watching her every move as she moves around, completely entranced. At one point, she puts her hand on his head, but then dances away.

“Oh, migawd,” is all Tony can manage as he stares at Hotta, and then at his fellow gang members, who are also captivated.

“This just can’t be,” gasps Marina as she looks to her gang members for support then at Tony, as Tony seems to be slipping away from her.

“Cremation or the tomb, Buddy Boy,” Ghost of Landfill smirks as he moves in from behind to sandwich Tony between the two demons. Tony, still on his knees, looks up at the two demons, his gaze snapping back and forth between them. “We’ve got both ends of the market tied up.

‘You can’t stop progress,’” the Ghost mockingly admonishes him.

“Leave my man alone!” commands Marina, emerging from the Zeros and suddenly energized; she steps in front of Tony and confronts the demons,

Tony starts to get his feet, his head jerking back and forth between Marina and Hotta.

“Your man?” O’s and R’s chorus together in consternation.

“Yea, haven’t you ever seen ‘West Side Story’?” Marina shoots back.

“Yea, had to read Romeo and Juliet, too,” admits Puente in a hang dog kind of way.

“Well, I’m no wilting little Juliet,” Marina responds with attitude. “I’m Marina for the new millennium. And I need Tony—and I need all of you guys to make it happen.”

She hauls Tony to his feet.

“So what do you want us to do?” asks Sunshine hesitantly.

“Keep fighting among yourselves,” interjects the Ghost of Landfill. “That’s how we in the end,” he laughs maniacally.

”Hey, Demon, butt out. This is a family affair,” interrupts Sunshine, and suddenly both sides turn on the two demons.

“You can’t stop me,” Ghost of Landfill retorts unphased, menacingly and still moving forward. “Despite all your wonderful plans and programs, I keep growing.” He turns to face the Zeros. “And you Zero Wasted Wasters, all you got are some pretty dreams and a bunch of feel good, primrose proposals. Ha!”

“Dude, this isn’t your turf,” Zera tells him.

“Yea, you were born in Fresno,” Puente tells him in a crowing insult.

“Maybe we have to break it down for you,” McCann Explains to the demons.
0’s and R’s sing “Dear Kindly Demons to the tune of ‘Officer Krupke.’

“Dear Kindly Demons”
Otay:
Dear landfill past and present
'Tario tain't you turf
All your "daily cover"
Is covering the earth
You come here to the desert
And what do you propose?
Now we see you are the common foes
Sunshine:
Gee fi-er-y demon, we like zero waste
But don't you know that smoking is in very bad taste
You ain't got the answers
You're full of hot air
Deep down inside there's no there there
(slight pause)

Together:
No there there

You crawled up outa who knows where
But deep down inside there's no there there

“Burning to get to Zero is an oxymoron,” interjects Puente.
“Yea, like ‘sanitary landfill’,” agrees Zynthia.

“Yo momma is an ox-e-moron,” shouts Crazy Horse.

Voices of hoots and laughter spring from both sides, as they begin like being together.

“If I can’t have you, then nobody can,” screams Hotta, as she ignites her pistol shaped lighter and points it Tony.

Marina jumps in front of Hotta as O’s and R’s look at each other. The two gangs are horrified. Suddenly a common enemy unites them.

“Honey, your fire is out,” Marina tells Hotta as she grabs her and starts to throw her away from Tony.

“Hey, Zera, we can’t let them beat us,” says McCann.

“OK, McCann, my man” agrees Zera.

“Let’s get them,” voices from both gangs agree.

Hotta: I’m Melting!
Zeros surround Hotta as Zynthia dumps a bucket labeled “Zero Waste Water” on Hotta.

“Ohh, I’m melting,” moans Hotta as she writhes and falls to the ground.

Meanwhile, R’s hustle Ghost of Landfill away and dump a pail labeled ‘ ADC/Green Waste’ over his head.

“We don’t dig landfills in these parts, pardner,” McCann tells the Ghost of Landfill grimly.

“With love from Mike Mohajer and the LA Sanitation District,” Puente says as he dumps the contents.

By the end of the scene, the entire cast is spread out in a chorus line across the stage w/ Tony and Marina at center stage, the 0’s to the left, R’s to the right, Hotta at far left, Ghost of Landfill at far right.

At center stage, Tony and Marina embrace.

“Marina, you are my hero,” says Tony.

“Tony, you are zee best!” replies Marina.

“Well, they certainly do deserve each other,” Zera says to McCann, slightly disgusted at the lovey-dovey behavior of Tony and Marina. “That certainly changes the dynamic.”

“This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship,” replies McCann as he works the irony of this line.

McCann: This Could Be The Beginning Of A Beautiful Friendship
Gangs and all cast unite to sing “Ontario II (Reprise) ”.

“Ontario II (Reprise)”
R-Gang:
We like to be in Ontario
Everything's cool in Ontario
Sit by the pool in Ontario
Recyclers rule in Ontario

Hotta: I am still here if you need me
Sunshine: Ninety percent and then we'll see (gets shoved by a Zero)
GLPPF: Landfills will always be with you
Otay: Close down or we will close you foo'

Zeros:
We like to be in Ontario
Zero's the show in Ontario
Nowhere to go in Ontario
If you're not an "O" in Ontario

Marina: We're at the end and no one died
Cool McCann: Yeah, but you know Tony Z. cried
Tony: R-Gang and Zeros make amends
Zera: Now that we know you're our real friends

All:
R-Gang and Zeros in Ontario
Are the heroes in Ontario
That ends our shows in Ontario
Everyone goes in Ontario Bye-bye!

Curtain call, bow, exit.

Hotta Rot, Ghost of Landfill, Tony, and Cast
…And there’s more…

A Secret Message:
NCRA Players and the NCRRA Dancers premier
"Waste Side Story"

Join The Gang
You, too, can become a gang member—

Get Gang Colors (specify sm, med. lrg or x-lrg)
Get Initiated Into the R-Gang or The Zeros
Get a Special Gang Name
Learn the Gang’s Secret Signs

And you don’t have to attend meetings or workshops

Relive, the recycling R-Gangers fighting it out with the zero wasting Zeros for control of Ontario turf while love blossoms with wit, song, dance and rhyme in five acts including Hotta Rot’s most scintillating performance (and costume) ever. NCRA is seeking corporate and individual sponsorship to offset our expenses of taking the show on the road and video production. Sponsors will be recognized in the videos well as special recognition in the commemorative performance program:

$50 level sponsorship "Be a Gang Member!"
$80 to join both gangs
You too can be a gang member, join either the R-Gang or the Zeros, learn the secret sign, and otherwise be part of at least one of the In-Groups. And YOU DON'T HAVE TO ATTEND MEETINGS! Talent always welcome, but not required.

$100 Product Recognition
For $100, we will initiate you into both gangs, make mention of you or your company in the printed program, lyrics and send you a copy of the video.

$250 Favorable Product Placement
In the shameless merger of art and commerce, for $250 we will include a joke, scene, song lyric or product placement that promotes you/your company in the printed program, and you get a copy of the video. Choose your preferred gang affiliation(s), receive your gang colors tee shirts. Dancing around on stage, special signed programme, and special food waste session tutorial is optional.

To sponsor this event, please email ncra@ncrarecycles.org.
Whether you did or didn’t attend, you can still be part of the show.

(NCRA will act as fiscal agent for cash, check, money order or electronic funds transfers, no COD’s, baby. Final language of all entries subject to review by gang council)

And There’s MORE!

- VHS Video of “Waste Story” is in production and will be ready for release soon. Order now for friends, relatives, clients, school groups, and a memento of the occasion.

- The Special Souvenir Program --with lyrics—available now.

- “The R-Sisters Songbook” with all the songs from this and other NCRA Players shows—including “Circle of Snakes,” “Mr. Chesbro Goes To Sacramento,” “Dame Edna Does RU,” and other Recycling Update Shows. These songs are great for sing-alongs at various R type events.

- And don’t forget to check out the new Northern California Recycling Association website http://www.ncrareycles.org/for all the serious and real stuff we do. Monthly meetings are held third Thursday of every month (except when we have a party, and we do that 2-3 times a year, too.)

Contact NCRA through our website, e-mail ncra@ncrarecycles.org, P.O. Box 5581, Berkeley CA, (510) 217-2433 for prices and availability of NCRA Players merchandise at prices so low that we can’t even put then on the internet.

All materials © 2000-2003. NCRA Players™ and NCRRA Dancers™ are property of NCRA. All rights reserved.

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